i was like blurred and hopeless of looking something new and extra-ordinary in my life currently.
i have no idea how and what topic i should pick up for my research study and you have no idea how devastated and exhausted i was before.
but suddenly the light came into my life, and unlimited ideas have came after me to full my wish and fill my hope. i was suddenly like a new person, i woke up after a down, i rose up after i buried down. God, this is what people called 'a grateful and bless'. Alhamdulillah.
let's me tell you something,
i was in Degree of sport science before, i just finished my degree study but not yet graduate (convocation) and now i am taking Master of Sport Science in UiTM Shah alam. During my degree study, people kept asking me why i chose Sport Science,why not Nursing? FYI, i was an ex-staff nurse, i got to work as a nurse 3 years ago before i decided to switch my study in Sport Science. i just want to combine my knowledge in medical with Sport, that's why i chose to further my study in Sport Science.*Just to let you know, i am not totally switched off my nursing area as now i was registered under Malaysian Nursing board, i've make a retention for my license. that's mean i still can work in nursing area after i finish my study.
ok, just after i have registered myself in Sport Science, one of my lecturer asked me to join them for Sport medical courses. i always know i came into Sport science because i want to combine my basic medical with sport, so i decided to join them. we came and spreads out our 'wing' to the outside, we make plan to create a Sport medicine course in our faculty. so this is what i am just now. i helped them and gave talk to people about sport injury and the treatment, and so on. its just happening and i love it.
Now i was studying in Master study, i have chosen to take Sport medicine/Sport injury as my area of study. i know i can do it, that's my lecturer's hope. i wish i can help him. but once again, i feel like something interferes my mind, my interest. i just want to learn something new in my life, i want to learn something about our body responses to the hormones, nutrients, bloods and physiological changes in our body. and just now i feel like wanna switches my area into nutrition as well. Damn it!!!
Huh. i can't think more than praying to Allah so He can help me and give me a better choice in my life.
Ya Allah, please give me a courage and strength to face any obstacles throughout my life. i need your guide, i need your bless.
'Tell me what condition it is, i am surely will go through it confidently'
i remembered my lecturer said once back in 2009, she told me the hardest thing that she had been through was during her master study. the spirit of hers to be a lecturer encouraged herself to be strong and independent. she was lost and grieving for having financial problem during that time. she even didn't take outside meals to fill her hunger stomach. and she drunk lots of water to make her stomach full. seriously, this would make me cry and sad to think. how could she held to survive herself in master level when she was like in border?? she is my inspiration for too long.
to be truth, i was shocked with my current life as i thought it is my first time of having financial problem throughout my study. i am glad that i still have my family and boyfriend that helps me to keep survive here. moreover everything, i am honestly saying that they are the important people in my life. the support that they give me when i up and down, fall and stand and success. i wouldn't be here if they're not.
frankly say, i can just leave my study and back to my hometown anytime if i wish, but i won't do that because of their hopes and expectations towards me. do you think i'm okay with this? honestly i'm not okay. i'm tired and tensed for the challenges i need to go through after all but i will never do that because i know i'm not that weaken and lost just because everything changing.
Hence, that's will be one of my inspiration to keep holding myself here. i will keep holding here.
by days, i was weaken and become tired. i can't push my head to think, i feel like breathless and nausea. feel like wanting to vomit something from my stomach. huh.
i don't think this is a good time for me to stay up and force my brain to think something better and amazing. i should go to sleep before i turn into a zombie.
to think that tomorrow is a Saturday weakens my mind. why Friday is near to Monday??!arghh.
oh, i think i am too sleepy that why i wrote such an emotional writing here. SHOULD take my rest right now. bye.
its been a month since my last update yaa.
nevermind, now i am back with a short writing i guess.
today is my day 3# for coming into classes as a master student. Last-night course a.k.a Sport Psychology by Dr Vincent impressed me to be thoughtful and independent as we have lots of assignments to finish for each subject. to tell you truth, i am glad that we don't need to sit for final exam started on this semester until next next semester. it is a glad right??but the syllabus won't be same like before. we got to do a lot of assignments, and article reviews within 14 weeks, tests and presentations, and the last but not least, a thesis.
for each subject, we have to create a research proposal and full thesis will be assessed throughout the semester. The burden to stay up revising chapters at night for final exam would be less, but the time that we should sacrifices to review journals, finish a mini project/research, assignments and tests should be more than anything. As Dr vincent said lastnight, we are not a Diploma or Degree student, no final examination will be arranged to us, but we have to do lots of assignments and researches as we were trained to be a lecturer!!!. God, i feel tensed, but excited at the meantime! so this going to be a challenge for us.
Okay, i will stop here. Searching and browsing for journals and articles should be focused right now.
keep strong and be smart Azeanthy!!you can do it, like always!