Friday, April 27, 2012

you can always trust me;

dear sweetheart,
if i say i won't leave you alone, that means i really need you in my life,

if i ever yell you somewhere, that means i really want you to explore my feelings,
and if i ever say 'i hate you' whenever, that doesn't mean i want to forget and just leave you like that.

the thing is, i'm sort of secretively person, i'm not telling you 'i love you' everyday doesn't mean i don't love you much. to be honest, i always have no idea how to say something nice and sweet-words when we get fight, i thought i should learn to be persuasive person, so that i can reconcile our relationship. someday i wish you can see how much i can do that in reliable.

dear my pretty boy,
thanks for being my supporter, for the compliments, for the encouragement, and all the sweetsoured experiences we had been together all this time. nothing much, the only main point i want to sress here is, YOU CAN ALWAYS TRUST ME whenever and wherever we are, because once i got you, i never mind to think other guys anymore. that is my principle.

so, no more doubt and untrust between us,
i swear, we can always trust ourselves, respectively.

love you-

Monday, April 23, 2012

well, it's a Saga!

i was really in Sabah currently; 

it's not about homesick, i was here because of my family, my pet, boyfriend, and my friends. within a few days, my sister is going to celebrate her 32th y/o birthday, and my third brother now was preparing for his solemnization. i just can't let these moments passed like that, i really wanted to see how they feel at least.

and on the 1st day i arrived here, my darling NJ was fetched me up at KKIA and we've a lunch together, shopping clothes and shoes at 1Borneo, before we were heading back to Ranau, and met his parents at his place in Kg. Lingkudau. Great to see his parents were doing well so far and to my surprise, the idea about a nuptial merged again, and again. but then, i've no idea on how to convince them, as i'm going to spend up all my time in Malaya once i finish my study. i mean, jobs are waiting for me, and i've no reason why i must grab out the opportunities anyway. 

and oh, i was really tedious, the effect of training really got into my nerves!i'm going to represent my college in Ping Pong tournament once i come back to my university. to tell you the fact, i was really active in sport tournament currently. Netball and Ping Pong are the most games i joined up, besides of that, i also managed to involve myself in Tennis and Squash. See how much i love sport, i mean, i really can play it, and very grateful, i've a talent that persuasive me to place myself into tournament. 

well, it's a blossomed gifts actually. i really enjoy myself ever since. i really feel a Saga inside of mine. very vivacious!

Monday, April 16, 2012

give me a moment;

in the next few days, i am going to leave Shah Alam for awhile for self-entertainment. going back to my hometown is always the best thing in my life since i was a student, lived far away from my state, my family, and friends. nevertheless, the moment i spend a bout of holiday in Sabah, i'm sure i'm going to miss my university, solemnly. 

bytheway, the best thing for students whenever the holiday breaks coming up is going back to their place and spend the moment with their family as well. on the other hand, for those in a long distance relationship just like me, this maybe the happiest moment when seeing the lover and talk each other. 

so what are going to happen on this April?
well, i've have many things to do actually, my second brother is going to get married with his fiance, and that's a good new anyway. and i wish the best for them.

and tonight i've a Research paper test, so i'm going to leave this blog for awhile. so catch it soon!daaa...

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Siapa aku di sisi mu;

Setiap hamba Allah itu ada kisah di sebaliknya...

suatu ketika dahulu, aku pernah berjanji untuk tidak jatuh cinta lagi, kerana aku telah merasakan pedih yang teramat apabila cinta pertama ku terkandas jauh dari angan pelamin ku. Selepas tarikh yang memberi aku seribu pengertian tentang erti KECEWA, aku memulakan hidup tanpa seorang lelaki pun dalam hidup ku. Aku mengambil keputusan untuk menutup dan mengunci hatiku dan menutup mata dan hatiku untuk menerima lelaki dalam hidup ku,walaupun pada saat itu ramai yang cuba ingin mengubat luka hati ku, dan berjanji akan memberikan yang terbaik dalam hidup ku. Aku yakin mereka jujur dan tulus, namun selepas 2 tahun perpisahan pertama, aku masih hidup tanpa seorang lelaki. Dan betapa cekalnya aku melihat insan yg pernah aku sayang dan telah mengecewakan aku bahagia bersama orang lain dalam hidupnya, betapa aku masih mampu tersenyum, dan mendoakan agar dia bahagia di sana, walaupun pada ketika itu, aku lah insan yang paling malang sekali...

'orang kata, cinta itu menyakitkan..apatah lagi jika kita pernah di lukai, kecewa dan kesedihan...
 namun kata orang, tidak semua lelaki itu sama,setiap yang pergi pasti ada penggantinya..' -
 by Eyanz Azeanthy Paiman 

Dalam kepahitan melalui jalan-jalan yang berduri, ketika hati ku pada saat itu kini sudah semakin sembuh dan mampu melupakan segala kisah cinta lama, hidup ku telah di ketuk oleh seorang insan yang sangat menyintaiku, terlalu setia berkawan dengan ku,dan sentiasa mengambil berat tentang aku..aku cukup kuat untuk menolak cinta insan lain sebelum itu, namun dengan dia, hati yang sekeras ais atlantik ini bagai cair dimamah api yang membara. Hatiku yang penuh dengan kebencian terhadap lelaki mula terhakis sedikit demi sedikit oleh kata-kata peribadi dan perasaannya. Aku sedar, aku tidak mampu menutup mata dan hati ku untuk dia..kesungguhannya membuatkan aku sedar dan terharu,lalu ku buka hatiku, membuka segala kunci dan dinding yang menutup hatiku...dan betapa dia benar-benar mencintaiku..

Beberapa tahun sudah berlalu, aku mula memikirkan tentang masa depan ku..sampai saat ini dia masih mencintaiku sama seperti saat dia mula jatuh cinta terhadapku. Kasih sayangnya tiada tolok bandingan, mampu menerima siapa diriku seadanya. Aku bersyukur bertemu dengan insan yang ikhlas mencintaiku sepenuh hatinya...

Dan saat dia melafazkan kata untuk menjadikan aku miliknya, aku yakin dia bukan berpura-pura..aku yakin dia ikhlas dan bersungguh-sungguh untuk menjadi milik aku. Akhirnya segala yang dia inginkan menjadi kenyataan, aku menerimanya dengan hati yang terbuka dan penuh kesyukuran...

'kini saatnya telah tiba, dua hati dan cinta yang semakin mekar ini akan disatukan dengan lafaz mulia yang disaksikan oleh keluarga dan Allah, bersama sebentuk cincin indah sebagai tanda kau milikku, dan aku  milikmu secara rasmi disisi Islam...' - Eyanz Azeanthy Paiman.

Thank you for loving me all this time, Noorlizam Jamlee @NJ.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Back to the past; Memories

i'm in classicz mood right now. not too classic actually, i just can't stop reminiscing the way i lived before during my secondary-hood moments. that's reminded me the way i looked years ago, wore lid pomfret, with a simple looks. i really missed the moment i started to put cover on my hair. anything looked weird and odded on the beginning, but then i adapted it, and see, how i love wearing shawl and tudung.

so recently, in a couple of months ago, i started wearing lid pomfret again, after all.

and gaaaahhhh, the pimples on my forehead. i just can't stop it, as i was damn stressful managing my time management. lots of thing to do, can't take care of myself, even don't have an ample time for face-routine-care. huh.

anyway, i'm happy the way i looked in this simple looks. now i feel at ease. i'm just can guarantee myself that i can survive myself in whatever condition i am. a great tip is, just be myself, and it won't trouble myself anyway, for sure.

so this is me, Azeanthy never knows how to be surrender and give up. Azeanthy is fearless, unfathomable, anyway.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

i see you;

i ------>>> you;

In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away

Sunday, April 1, 2012

May god bless her;

Dear readers,

one of my favorite blogger, Ety was admitting in Hospital Queen Elizabeth right now since yesterday morning. she was really sickness and i can't imagine how she can survive for all this time as i remember one day in back she told me how terrible she felt on that time. 

she is my follower, my friend, and my sister-in-law in the future (she is my third brother's girlfriend). we didn't see often, but we still managed to keep in touch by facebook, blog and so forth. she and my brother were loving each other and i can't imagine how they are going to live on grieving each other, all were tortures me indeed! 

oh god, please save her for this time, please bless her, i really want her to live healthy and happily. i always remember her says to grab her dreams successfully. please god, i can't keep silence like this anymore. i wasn't tough enough to face this. please god.

Hanya kepada-Mu tempat aku memohon ya Allah, berkatilah diri nya dan sembuhkanlah penyakitnya kerana sesungguhnya aku tidak sanggup melihat insan ini daripada terus menderita. Aminn....